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Wednesday 9 April 2003
this is not normal

i don't know what's going on with me lately. i'm still not anywhere near my old self - things feel like they're sliding. i don't think it's the pill i'm on right now because all of this started last week, but if it is - this could last a few months which i don't think i can handle. my body is always warm or hot, my eyes are always warm, i'm nauseated to the point i cannot get out of the house, i'm spinning and my insides feel fuzzy, i'm moody and quiet, i can't eat until later at night and when i eat, i only like apples. mum still says everyone is going through it (like it's the time of the year thing) but i don't think so. it doesn't feel right. sticking that thing down my throat every morning hasn't exactly been a thrill ride either. i don't know whether it's all worth it. i am never like this and i don't want to be like this but i guess i have to wait to see which is a pain in the ass. it makes me feel like a whiny bitch with a paranoia problem, but i think we all know when something's not going right in our bodies.

i haven't been able to get in touch with my dad the past few days also. he's somewhere in asia - where we're not sure, but his phone is on the fritz and doesn't connect so we can't tell.

i'm still waiting on my camera to come in, maybe this week. the film and fresh batteries has been sitting in my room for a few weeks now.

back to the eternal 'bliss' of work. ugh.

 

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