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Monday 16 June 2003
writing .. deleting .. writing ..

i've come here to write so many times over the past couple of days, but nothing i put down i feel like 'getting out there'. stupid things.. they feel important to me for a while and then they go away. but anyway...

nothing really worries me these days and it's a good feeling.

i think now is the time where i really have to act my age and do what i want and what Regan wants. the past year or so has been really amazing and hard at the same time. i don't have as many opportunities as many of my friends do right now. i don't have money to buy a million cd's or see a thousand movies whenever i want. and as much as i'd love too, i can't travel overseas and take vacation time every few months.

i'm not complaining that i don't have anything, because what i do have is a life that i'm going to share with someone i love, and it's time to put everything i have into that. even if it is just looking through the apartment listings together, or planning a surprise phone call to him whenever i can. no matter how selfish it sounds, it's about time for things to go our way ...

in other nightly ramblings..

things are getting exciting in a few ways around here lately. dad will be leaving this week to go back to malaysia, he's starting plans to buy a house back in his hometown so he and his brother's can have a base to go to in their retirement. it's a good thing for my dad to do, he always says that he wants to spend more time back there and i think now is a great time for that. he'll be away for a week or two, so that means i'll be doing alot of the house stuff here while mum works night/day shifts

i have a few things to do here, big things that will take up alot of my free time (i'm not complaining though!). the wedding plans are still going on in the background, we've booked the reception venue so we don't lose the date we wanted (january 4!). i had my first dress fitting and things are looking really good. most things are done and ready to go and it's all very cool

i've had a bit of a creative conflict when it comes to posting up a new photo at shutterbug each night lately. i feel like i'm not putting myself into it as much as i used too. not that i don't care about it anymore, because i do, but maybe there's something missing. it doesn't worry me so much but just another annoying observation about my mind of late. i want things to be perfect, but i don't care if they're not. (the lazy perfectionist in me)