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Friday 28 April 2006
still a problem but not a problem

argh, "it's" still happening. i'm still freaking out and i still hate it.

i do forget that it's not a quick fix and i can't magically just feel better just because i should. the best thing right now is not to get worked up about it - i really want to enjoy tommorrow and i hope and hope that i'm not going to go 'crazy' right in the middle of it. i think that if i went with my 'issues' i wouldn't be celebrating anything tommorrow and i would stay at home on the couch, angry at myself because i didn't try. i can't be 'the girl that didn't try' for the rest of my life. it's time to grow up.

i really miss the old-Tracey and i wonder what ever happened to her, and whether she's going to come back. i've been trying to pinpoint 'what happened' to make me feel like this and i don't think it's just 1 thing that happened to me or around me. one thing about anxiety issues is that i don't think there really is anything rational about why it happens (at least to me). i don't think i'm a nervous person, i'm smart enough to know what's wrong and right, but yet i still get stuck time from time.

so i'm starting to ramble now, and perhaps that's a good thing. i think i never really let what i'm really thinking out and that's part of why the issues never get solved. anyway, i'm turning the commenting back on and hopefully the spammers won't bother taking over again, but i really want some constructive talk going on about anxiety and general craziness. there's not enough of it around ...

 

Replies: messages (2) hey tracey, glad to see comments are open again. i'm tempted to close mine myself but i don't, something always holds me back. i've read your entries about the anxiety and headaches. you don't want to pop another pill and it looks like you've tried everything else. have you prayed about this? when things are bigger than myself (or smaller a lot of times), i throw my hands up and pray about it. that is what helps me out. especially when it is something as intangible as anxiety. xoxo p.s. you're going to do great and i don't ever think you could be "the girl that didn't try". not in your nature. Posted by erika @ 29 april 2006 05:11 AM AEST You know I've been through this tracey. I went to a doctor about it and she helped me..a little. She wasn't the right doctor for me though. I found a few ways to deal with it, but it creeps back and has been a lot lately, to be honest. Email me. Posted by amanda @ 30 april 2006 12:50 PM AEST