<\/div>\n

i guess it’s that post-holiday feeling, where you find out you can’t just walk down to the beach or take a cab somewhere you’ve never been, whenever you want. where every day you don’t have a plan, don’t know what new thing you’ll learn that day, you don’t need to scrub the kitchen floor or clean the toilet on a sunday or wake up to your alarm clock that’s set to the exact same time each morning.<\/p>\n

and i guess it doesn’t help that i’ve been back at work for two days and already had a (psycho?) client call me up after hours and threaten me over the phone (*) and made you and your work feel, literally, worthless. and that on the first full day of being back in front of the computer, all your arthritis-y pains, head spins, eye aches and nausea from the computer screens are back. <\/p>\n

thinking and typing about it right now, this is probably the same ‘funk’ i was in 2, 3, 4, 5 months ago when i realised i needed a change. the vacation was a temporary one. a fantastic, life changing temporary one. maybe it really is time for me to jump into something else? the motivation to do it, and the confidence to pull it off escapes me though. while i think and dream about a more glamorous and fun life ‘out there’, i really have doubts about my ability to actually do it. <\/p>\n

the thing is, i know<\/i> in another 2, 3, 4 or 5 months i’ll be right back here bitching as per usual. i know i’m not happy, i don’t feel like my time is being used wisely. the trip showed me there are so many people and places i want to see, and that i belong out there with you guys. i don’t like being inside all day, that the only travel i get mon-thurs is from the bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen to the computer. ugh. <\/p>\n

the photograph i’ve posted above is from a series of beach photos at myrtle beach i took about 3 weeks ago. the full series won’t be up for at least another week or so (i’m trying to post in the order i took them on vacation), but it’s a perfect example of why\/where i want to be. it’s not just about the beach or the sunrise, or even ‘that moment’ i was in. it’s all of it. what it took to get there, and why i was there in the first place. oh man, i’m a bit sad aren’t i?<\/p>\n

so now, what do i do? what’s next? <\/p>\n

travel photographer? (good luck getting that job) shopping mall, santa photographer? waitress? retail? international bum? eternal tourist? shut up tracey, you’re lucky as it is? <\/p>\n

help me! 2005 can be a totally different world for me, and i really hope it is. <\/p>\n

(*) it’s all good. hopefully he’s calmed way<\/i> down by now and we’ve let him go on his way. not a pleasant guy, or a lovely experience.<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i’m ready to go back on vacation. seriously. i guess it’s that post-holiday feeling, where you find out you can’t just walk down to the beach or take a cab somewhere you’ve never been, whenever you want. where every day you don’t have a plan, don’t know what new thing you’ll learn that day, you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anything-everything"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=615"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sh1ft.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}