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Friday 15 November 2002
tracey can't have anything

people expect me to be quiet and keep my mouth shut, this time it's not the case. they've really caught me on a bad day so this is a post about the rules i'm supposed to follow (for what reasons i don't know)

1. tracey cannot show affection to her boyfriend, now fiance, without being told to shut up. everyone else can though.

2. tracey cannot take time out from posting at one board because she is under stress and is physically not well. she is not allowed to have a personal life that comes before a message board. everyone else can though.

3. tracey cannot create a new message board for personal reasons. everyone else can though.

4. tracey cannot open up a new message board, with new software, without people telling her that she's stupid and should change it back because THEY wanted the old place back. everyone else can though (and be told that they're genius').

5. tracey is not contactable in ANY way EVEN THOUGH everyone KNOWS what her website url is and EVEN THOUGH they know there's a link to her email addresses, guestbooks, journals etc.

6. tracey is not allowed to have other people stand up for her when something is bothering her. she is also not allowed to stand up for her own feelings, or any of her friends' feelings.

7. tracey cannot have a new messageboard without people assuming that she's given up on the other.

8. tracey cannot spend her time and money on something she enjoys. she must always attach herself to things and people that stress her out unnecessarily.

9. tracey is not allowed to be just another registered user. she must always be the robot that looks over everything at all times.

10. tracey is not allowed to have feelings without people talking behind her back.

if any of you really cared about me, you would of told me by now. 0 emails really says alot. the only emails i've gotten was to tell me to delete a user or to change a rank for someone or to delete a thread. no 'how are you? how's the wedding coming along? how's the visa?'. i still have a handful of friends that bother to check in with me and if none of you want to talk to me after this post, then that's fine because i already have people that i love and care about dearly. don't give me crap about never being on msn, because yes i am never on when anyone other than Regan is. there are things such as email, and asking someone for my email address.

i really wish that you all would of just grown up a little because the joke hasn't been funny for a year and you are ultimately screwing your chances on keeping the place up.

i know you all know about KE, and it doesn't bother me. it will bother me if you don't understand that it's not something i'm doing behind your backs, and it will bother me if i have to constantly keep me eye on it like i did at Revolve. KE was created from an idea that i had been thinking about for a while, and i had the chance to do it - and i did. i wanted a place to be motivated and to motivate others with art. most of you KNOW that art & websites are a big thing in my life, it's only natural for me want to reach out and do another project. don't change it to be a place about something completely different. IT IS NOT THE NEW REVOLVE. I NEVER WANTED IT TO BE.

yeah this has been bottled up for over a year now. lovely ain't i?
i know people are going to talk about what i've said and that's fine, but it's the way i feel and if you can't respect me, as a person or as a friend, then go ahead and bitch more about me. you know that i will probably just leave this whole thing as it is after i hit 'submit' at the bottom of this page. i don't want to keep defending myself to everyone.

i hope someone understands what i'm saying. and excuse me if you didn't know i felt this way

i really don't want to go back right now, i shouldn't have too. for over a month, i can't even bring myself to load up the index page, it shouldn't be that way. there are too many things that are far more important than going back and bitching more about things. i have given so much towards Revolve when i didn't have too, and all i wanted was respect from you guys. i don't have much left for you these days.

feel free to quote this on the board cause i know someone will anyway.
the topic on the board is probably forgotten, but i didn't want what i wanted to say left unsaid.

 

Replies: messages (8) hm :/ I hope you feel better. do whatever you want to! be selfish for a change! Posted by cecilia @ 15 november 2002 05:24 PM AEST Ok, well I don't really know what's going on but I just wanna take this opportunity to proclaim my love for Tracey :) Seriously guys, Tracey is one hell of a genuine, self-less, always helpful and kind-hearted (not to mention extremely talented!!) individual and I'm disappointed that some people don't know any better. We luv ya Tracey.... keep doin' your thang :) Posted by Bianca @ 15 november 2002 06:24 PM AEST Tracey, you get all my sympathy for all the stick you've been getting - you really, really don't deserve it. The way Revolve has gone downhill is a dreadful shame because you've spent your time and money on it, and because of that you have every right to take it away. Anyway this note is just to say I'd like to support you, whatever decision you make. You're such a talented person... so take care and be happy :) Posted by kathryn @ 15 november 2002 10:40 PM AEST tracey, i sent you a pm the other day, but i don't think you read it cuz i read now that you said you haven't been even loading revolve at all. anyway, i hope you got the package i sent you, and i hope you feel better. i'm thinking of you. Posted by erin @ 16 november 2002 12:27 PM AEST the community always wants the individual to give give give. in truth, selfishness is a far superior moral attitude. live for yourself first and always. i'm on your side. Posted by skye @ 16 november 2002 03:57 PM AEST hmm.. also, don't misunderstand what i just said because of the evil connotations that we've all grown used to for the word 'selfishness.' but the integrity you've shown and your refusal to let foolish villains get to you are admirable and virtuous. i'm so glad that you said what you did. Posted by skye @ 16 november 2002 04:01 PM AEST love for tracey! <3 xoxo Posted by bre pea @ 17 november 2002 06:40 AM AEST I 100% support whatever decision you make concerning Revolve. I really didn't know the extent of your frustration and I'm sorry if I did anything to cause it. I guess I just don't spend as much time around Revolve either and am kind of "out of the loop" about a lot of what's been going on. I'm really glad to have read what I just read - to know how you've really been feeling. Posted by Brooke @ 17 november 2002 09:50 AM AEST