previous entry - next entry

Thursday 13 April 2006
so here i am

still around, somewhere over here. i haven't been myself lately, which is only partly surprising, but things for me just haven't been 'normal'.

after a few weeks of introspective talks, i have issues with anxiety that need to be addressed and i'm taking the steps towards a better normal for me. it might come as a surprise to alot of my friends that haven't experienced it (or think they haven't) but the people closest to me understand what's going on as much as i do.

to explain it very quickly - it's (anything) such a big deal in my head and in my physical reaction, but if i think about it rationally it's not a big deal at all. i think that basically sums up my anxiety attacks and probably millions of other peoples anxiety attacks too.

strange thing though is that it doesn't always happen, and rarely happens in the same place with the same people etc. i can count on one hand the times an actual panic attack has happened in the last 2 years, but the thought of the next one is what plauges me the most. i'm too full of 'what ifs' and empty of 'it'll be fine'.

man, i sound like i lost my mind! but in reality, this is something very real for so many people too which is why i'm swallowing my embarassment and just typing out what i feel. after all, it is my blog.

anyway i'd love to hear anyone elses experiences with the same thing, i've turned off commenting cause i'm sick of the spamming but you're always free to email me if you're up for a chatty response from me lol