so today is the last day of my maternity leave – tomorrow i start back at work full time.
i’ve been preparing myself for this, for the last 2 weeks, i knew it was coming. but it still doesn’t stop my sadness. i’ll miss taking care of my little Jasper during the day – i’ll probably only see him for a hour when he wakes up, and then a couple of hours before he goes to sleep (and of course on weekends) as he’s pretty much on a 7am wake up, 9pm go to bed schedule.
i feel like i’m going to be missing a huge chunk of his life (he’s giving us daily giggles now!!) but i gotta do what i gotta do – we can’t all just stop working unfortunately. i know Regan would love to be a stay at home dad too and he works so hard for us. i think this makes me plan and work harder, because i certainly don’t want this to be permanent.
just gotta win that lotto. just once please! 😛
i feel that these past 9 weeks have been so amazing and so comfortable, that my ‘past life’ is where i want it to be… in the past. but on the other hand, i know i can do my job and that i need to think about our family now. i’ve been sort of toying with the idea of getting back into professional photography, but to be honest my confidence is shot and i don’t know whether i have enough talent and stamina to work like that again.