I won’t lie, I’m incredibly ecstatic to hear/see my friend’s babies reach their milestones – see them play, watch them feed themselves and have the adorable conversations with them about everything a 2 year old loves. But when I’m alone and it’s quiet, I dream about what it be like if Jovie was doing all those things too.
If we flash back to December 2008, when my sister had come with me to my 18 week scan at the hospital. Finding out that I was expecting a girl was without a doubt one of the most memorable moments of my life. Just as we had left the sonographer’s room and made our way down the hall, I stopped my sister and jumped and giggled with so much excitement – I was going to have a girl!! Don’t get me wrong, finding out we were expecting a boy when I was pregnant with Jasper was also an amazing time, but knowing that it’s my last pregnancy – a baby girl (and a pigeon pair of kids) was a beautiful gift to be given.
I was jumping up and down for all the pretend tea parties, jumping up and down for the arguments about cell phones & boys, jumping up and down for her wedding day & babies & living all her dreams.
Today, dreams are much simpler and honest. Just some first words would be awesome. A ‘mumma’ or a ‘yes’. A ‘hello’ or ‘happy’.
I’m thankful that Jovie’s eyes tell me more and more lately, but I’m fighting for those first words and won’t give up.
What do you dream about?
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getting into our routine of playgroups three times a week, before we get stuck into therapy in december, Jovie and I arrived at playgroup #2 earlier this morning.
our first visit last week went as expected, got there early and left only after a short while. with any kid, any new place can be hard to adjust to. with Jo, any new place is new territory to explore and then get terribly fed up with. there was screaming, hair pulling, pinching and a tantrum only to be described as epic.
but today was different, we stayed the whole 2 hours and I was able to have a really good conversations with the other parents there. it’s a small group, but having other people there who know exactly what you’re going through is an amazing thing to have. being able to share and be understood is worth it’s weight in gold. but talking to another parent with a child with the same disability (and abilities!) really makes the difference.
Jovie likes to stand on the trampoline at playgroup!
it’s the same with other blogs or articles that I read that are about the reality of living with Autism. conversations and just someone to look at you and say ‘yep, that’s exactly it’ – it really helps you feel a little more sane.
this week, Jovie and I have been exploring new supported playgroups for kids on the spectrum (that’s Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD). we have one more to go next Tuesday but so far, i loved them all but will wittle it down to 2 a week until therapy starts in December.
today at playgroup, Jovie was BUSY in the 2 hours we were there:
ran out of the room – at least 30 times
stared at the bookcase – at least 15 times
swiped at her own morning tea – at least 10 times
swiped at the other kids morning tea – at least 3 times
managed to steal other kids’ morning tea – 1 time
stared at the bathroom – at least 8 times
scratched at my face – at least 5 times
swiped the glasses off my face – at least 5 times
screamed out of happiness – at least 3 times
screamed out of sadness – stopped counting..
swiped at the glitter glue – at least 4 times
ate the glitter glue – 1 time
i love that in these supported playgroups, i don’t have to explain that Jovie doesn’t talk, that she doesn’t play with toys, can’t pick up toys, can’t feed herself, gets upset and throws tantrums. we were still different to the other kids there, but you learn all kids are different anyway.
oh to be a parent/carer of a kid with Autism… it takes alot out of you but i wouldn’t trade it for anything. i’m due back at work at the start of November but am again considering either taking more unpaid leave OR resigning completely (to stop jerking my boss around) and finding a nightfill and/or job so I can spend the day taking Jovie to therapy and playgroups.
who would of thought i’d long to be a stay at home mum? i friggin love that i get to drop Jasper off at school each Friday and then scoot over to playgroup with Jovie…. it’s where my heart is but we have to think of the future, where education for Jovie isn’t paid in sunshine and smiles.. (but how COOL if it was??)
