after stressing out BIG TIME a couple months back, i decided to get my butt into gear and focus. i was all over the place – working at night (not on anything personal related), working later at night (personal related), kids waking up at all hours so i wasn’t sleeping, always checking email and twitter and i was slowly turning into a zombie of my former self.
one thing that’s really helping me is making a background/wallpaper for my computer, which shows a day to day schedule of what i need to do from 9pm to 12 midnight. i read it as soon as i start up my computer and get to work. schedules/routines actually make me less stressed, so having this up as a guide for my week is a lifesaver.
what am i doing all week? researching baby related products for the Australian Baby Blog, an afternoon for writing blog posts only, time for reading design related updates on twitter, and weekends are free from the computer completely. i’ve even allocated time for socialising online (and offline) – something that i never ‘get around to’ but is vital if you want to make connections and form genuine relationships. i’m trying to work in some time to do something design related for fun!
and since i wasn’t getting enough sleep, my rule for every weekday night is that i have to be done by 11.30pm.
i love that everything has it’s place and if i follow it, i know it’s taken care of and i can concentrate on spending quality time with the kids and Regan 🙂 it stops me from being a slave to confusion and i can walk away from the computer feeling like i’ve actually completed what i need to.
do you like routine? has it made a difference in your life?
.. and i’m not afraid to admit it. (sort of).
i’ve been thinking about the pressures on a woman at all stages of her life to have a washboard, 6 pack for a stomach. once pregnant, she must have the biggest roundest belly possible, or she’s starving herself and the baby. then, after the baby is born, we’re told that we can ‘bounce back in 6 weeks’ if only we tried.
you know what? i do try but it’s still not happening for me yet. maybe it won’t happen for another 9 months, maybe another 9 years. but as a woman, i just want to give myself a break for once. life’s not about a flat stomach or the pursuit of one. i absolutely recognise the fact that we should be healthy, but healthy can also mean a little pudge while we enjoy motherhood for a while instead of slogging away our spare time away from our babies.
can’t it?
so i never really talk about work here, for privacy reasons, and because i don’t think it’s professional of me to do so and i’m not about to start talking about it. but i do want to talk about being a working mum and i’ll probably start blogging about it a bit more.
now and then i see news articles or tv segments about “what’s best for baby” and often it’s “mum stay at home with the baby”. in a perfect world, would i have loved to had done that? of course. but reality is, like so many other women out there, i didn’t have paid maternity leave and i had to return to work very early on in my children’s lives. with Jasper, i went back full time when he was 5 weeks old. with Jovie, we managed to arrange it so i went back when she was 11 weeks old.
the question is – do i regret it? and after thinking about it for years/months now, i’ve promised myself that anything that has to do with my kids, i will not regret for one second. we’re so bombarded by the media, our parents, our friends, ourselves – to think a certain way or to react a certain way because that’s “what you’re supposed to do” and then face wave after wave of “you’re a bad mum if…”. instead, i want to spend my time enjoying my life and not put myself into the naughty corner because i didn’t spend 18 hours with them today. yes in the beginning it was very hard (to the point of losing it completely) but then i felt i could go one of two ways – get pouty and make day to day life miserable – or embrace it and make everyday awesome whether i’m at work that day or not. i want my kids to know that every day i gave my best, not just for them but for myself too.
i don’t post this as another one of those annoying “working mums vs stay at home mums” rants – i honestly think whatever you choose to do is your own business, just don’t let anyone make you feel like you should regret it in any way. own it and love it and just smile at the people that tell you “but how come you didn’t…” because alternate realities belong on the sci-fi channel, not in my home 😉
are you a working mum? did you find it hard to adjust to your new life with kids and a job?
