we live in a world where it’s so easy to get lost online. where you can search for hours and still not be done. where you can be the person you always wanted, but never dared to try in the offline world. online there’s space for mistakes you can save over and there’s time to hover over that ‘submit’ button.
disconnect to connect is how i’ve been feeling about life and living, lately. while there is so much i love about the internet, it’s not life. it’s not my children, or the chill in the air. it’s not a walk in the park or the delicious smell of a cake baking in the oven. it’s not an hour to myself, relaxing.
i’ve spent the last decade and more looking for myself online, developing ideas out of interests – but who i really am (and who you really are too) lives offline and i want to spend time getting to know myself again. isn’t is strange to struggle for an answer when you’re asked what do you want to do? i feel like my answers are a combination of other people’s achievements, which is fine because goals are good, but is that really how i feel? is that really who i want to be? or have i read so many blogs that i’ve lost my own personality and set of goals along the way?
i’ve been stripping back slowly things that i don’t want to do anymore and have been slowly adding back things that i love to do. using each week as a milestone for clarity in my life, making sure that i’m spending time wisely and purposefully and hoping that i can/am living my life more authentically each day.
do you ever feel that way about being online and then going offline for a while?
do you actively and specifically disconnect from your online life?
My baby girl turns 3 years old today! It’s been a really interesting/tough/fun/weird/strange/eye opening year for the whole family – but more for Jovie. Just before her 2nd birthday we started on the assessment journey and within the year, we received the Autism diagnosis. Now it’s her 3rd birthday, we’re still going through DNA testing but things are moving forward and I can’t wait for what the next year brings us.
We had a mini lunch yesterday with the family, and of course we took some crazy photos to celebrate…
We’re all still sick with colds so we’re keeping it low and lazy today, together at home 🙂
for autism awareness month in April, I didn’t do a great job in spreading the awareness. but then i think about it and this whole blog and what i do out in the community is autism awareness. it doesn’t stop on april 30. it’s every day.
talking to one of Jasper’s teachers at his day care, she asked when Jovie would be joining them there soon. updating her, she didn’t realise Jovie had Autism and we talked for a while about how Autism has effected our family.
that often happens, too. people say hello to Jovie in the elevator and wonder why she isn’t looking at them or doesn’t say anything. at the supermarket, people see Jovie’s long legs poking out from her stroller and give me that ‘she’s too big for a stroller’ look, or ‘why did you let her sit in the middle of the fruit aisle’ smirk. awareness is not easy, but i’m happy to explain as much as i can if people give me the time to do it.
there seems to be more coverage in the media & on the net about Autism which is awesome – Chloe Maxwell has written a book about her son Max and their life with Autism and a great new website Autism: In Our Words is now up and running.
one day when we’ve finished our genetic testing and have started school, i’d love to write my own book about our experience as a family too. (despite the fact that i’m no writer! i will figure it out). even though our diagnosis’ are similar, i can’t help but feel still different from any other family i’ve met or read about that is living with an Autistic child. (our paediatrician, this morning, said that our case was unique in that Jovie’s Autism is quite severe and that we may never know why she faces so many other challenges with her development).
at group meetings at Jovie’s school, i connect with the parents there in their grief and exhaustion, and i want them to come away feeling like they are doing a great job, no matter how small the victory is. i’d want people to know that we are trying everyday, and to try along with us. to listen.
