things aren’t any better today, nor will we know whether it will be better tommorrow or four days from now. she’s lying in a hospital bed, still paralysed and without the power to talk. no one is saying what’s going to happen, maybe because we don’t know (or don’t want to know). i feel quiet and sad and the rain outside doesn’t help the mood.

i’m trying to keep quiet and wordless for a while so i can spend my time and energy doing things that mean more to my life than before. i’ve been doing that the past few months. less posting freely on message boards, less television, less junk going into my body. more photography, more talking to my friends and family, more learning. i don’t know whether this will work for me, but something has too.

i found out that my brother is in the exact same position as i am, except worse off. he works in a job that he now hates, sits around doing crapall related to his job description, wants to find another job that fulfills his day but doesn’t have the right qualifications for it. it’s such a waste of time for him, though he’ll be 27 this year so i guess he still has time to turn over. i guess i still do, too.