On Grief

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.

computer time

A heartfelt thank you to all who have reached out to our family in the last week. I am mostly okay, still very quiet at times as though I’m willing things to stop, just for a minute. I’m a bit overwhelmed but we have alot of support around our family, which has made this week easier.

Therapy for me has been a small tub of icecream, cupcakes, strawberries and a blog redesign. (Aren’t the illustrations of us amazing?). Talking to my girlfriends, the mums at playgroup, new friends online and, of course, my husband Regan has been a great comfort to me.

strawberries&chocolate

I’ve read alot of stories about families and how they’ve dealt with a Rett Syndrome diagnosis, and as I already knew – there is no one way to deal with something like this. For me, I’ve always been Jovie’s mum and I’ve always known Jovie as she is now. It’s not as if she had a major accident and we’ve had to adjust to a new life – Jovie’s always had her quirks just as I’ve always had black hair and a tendency to ramble. For us, it hasn’t been a matter of ‘shock’.

The grief is in the unknown. Knowing what could happen, but not knowing how bad it will get is hard. But only thinking about the hard times, is no way to live. You have to balance the good with the bad, know that yes things are going to be tough but your dreams never come true without working for them.

So, I work for them.

jovie's smile
A smile.

my jasper
For one more submarine cubby house.

jovie's hands
For their future.

And I’ll deal with the sadness as we go because life is way too precious to spend worrying about the unknown.


ballet flatsJune 13th, 2012 at 3:19 pm

i love this video tracey. so beautiful. jasper looks so much like reagan in that picture! the reagan in real life, not the little cartoon reagan.

love your new site too. x

NinaJune 14th, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Your daughter is so beautiful. And she has such a loving and devoted Mum. Wishing you all the strength, resilience, love, peace, courage and heart in this journey.

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