hello from the land of the neverending pregnancy!

i haven’t been updating my blogs much because i’ve been off enjoying life! while i’m aching head to toe, things are definately loosening up and progressing with this bub, i am actively remembering to stop and enjoy the time left. enjoy time with Jasper while he’s on school holidays. enjoy Jovie being the baby of the family for the last few weeks.

this third pregnancy has definately been the hardest, i’m waddling around while bubba boy bounces on my cervix. i’m winning the battle with yet another cold BUT am LOVING the cooler weather. i’m exhausted but happy.

Every so often, I hear about someone with Rett Syndrome passing away and my heart breaks. In this past week, 4 little girls all under the age of 10 have passed away, and there is really no words to describe how that feels. Terrifying? Devastated? Angry?

This is the reality of Rett Syndrome and at almost 1 year after our diagnosis, it doesn’t get any easier. As a parent with a child that has Rett Syndrome, or any kind of life threatening disorder, you want to believe that it won’t come to that, an early death (ugh it took me 1 hour to write those words), but in most cases it’s just how it is.

So Rett Syndrome and I .. how would I describe it? For me, there’s like 2 parts to Rett Syndrome – the disorder itself, wild & unpredictable. You won’t be able to tell how it’ll present itself next week, let alone 5 years time.. You can get clinical and know the parts to it, but it’s never the same person to person.
The other part is how it makes me feel. It can make you crazy and it can make you inspired. It can make you appreciate what you have, and it can beat you down.

I know how I feel about Rett Syndrome is nothing in comparison to actually living with it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it doesn’t effect the whole family. I am always going to feel that chronic sadness, but I am always going to feel immense pride in my daughter. I never want the disorder to fully dictate how she lives her life, because we all deserve to LIVE and have no regrets. Rett Syndrome isn’t who these girls and boys are, these boys and girls are much more than that.

Rett Syndrome, to me, is just a part of the journey that some people get. And as real as the teeth grinding, breath holding, seizures, scoliosis, long QT, gross motor issues, and everything else is – love is just as real and as worthy of our attention too.

hello third trimester! which somehow also means hello third trimester morning sickness..

i have glimpses of a perfect pregnancy, energy and a bounce in my step, but out of nowhere came the nausea and the general feeling that you want to crawl under a cool dark rock and sleep forever. but that’s pregnancy for you isn’t it? with so much going on within your body, no wonder it wants to take a holiday time from time.

with 12 weeks (or less!) left, i am consciously trying to enjoy every ache and every detail of this pregnancy. i never thought i’d get the chance to be pregnant again, so i really do feel like this is a bonus round, a gift that we’ve been given and as i always say, i don’t want to regret one thing.

so apart from the morning sickness and the extruciating 24/7 back pain and the horrible intolerance to heat & humidity (i am writing this with not one but two fans pointed at me, and don’t get me started about the school pick ups that make me want to open up a chasm in the earth just so there’d be a breeze), i remind myself that we’re lucky to have what we have and to rock out this last trimester with a smile on my face. i’ve started swimming laps twice a week and am still walking alot. i crave vegetables & fruit, but will not miss out on the chocolate easter eggs for anything…

i don’t see my midwives for another 6 weeks, when i’m 34 weeks along (eeeeeek) because apparently being a third time mum means i have it under control, but you know what? i do.