the year i graduated high school (was it 1998, or 1999? i can’t even remember anymore), was also the year i discovered Blue’s Clues. yes, i was 17 and i was watching children’s tv while studying for the HSC. to this day, the only things i remember about that year was getting hungry in the middle of my English exam and Steve Burns – the host of Blue’s Clues.
then somewhere along the way, i managed to get in contact with Steve about developing a website for him – i even remember asking him whether he wanted to set up a blog and then having to explain what on earth a ‘blog’ was. oh, the 90’s. we lost touch after a short while and i decided not to go ahead and stalk him. good choice.
he ended up leaving the show, made a couple of awesome cd’s and now lives in an amazing townhouse in Brooklyn. i only just found this video last night after wondering what he was up to –
i have no idea what he’s up to now, but i do hope that he’s happy somewhere doing his thing. or things.
so ANYWAY, Jovie saw a glimpse of Blue’s Clues on a podcast the other day, and I decided to download a few episodes for them to watch. Jasper totally loves it. he wants to be Steve for Halloween and Jovie will be Blue. (and i was so looking forward to being Princess Peach).
i find kid’s tv shows these days a bit like dabbing your eyeballs with dry cotton balls – weird and unnecessary. Yo Gabba Gabba and Mr Moon are probably the only ones I can stand but Blue’s Clues – even though it’s more than 10 years old – is now my children’s favourite tv show and that’s ok by me 🙂
so the point of this post? good things remain good after time. and yes, i have at least one weird & pointless story about a children’s television host. the end.
One of my strategies for keeping sane this week, has been to slow down. Slow down my life, slow down my mind, simplify even the simplest things.
Tuesday, Jasper had a speech therapy assessment – mild language & speech delay and he’ll need semi-regular sessions.
Wednesday, I spent half in a procastination coma but managed to put together my new cheapie elliptical, twice, because i put some parts together backwards.
Thursday, I burst into tears infront of the Autism parents group (we’ll have to pull out of there soon. My choice).
Friday, school + therapy + playgroup + force fed by my parents
Saturday, 2 kids + rain induced cabin fever
Sunday was a great place to start my plan for a simple day. Regan is home, no appointments to get to and nothing to confront, there’s no rush to do something or be anyone else but ourselves.
There’s time to bake mini apple pies from whatever is in the pantry.
Time to play dinosaurs in the backyard.
Time to take a swing in the sunshine.
There will be alot of hard work and hard time ahead of us, but there’s also alot of light and alot of love. There’s alot of joy in the simple things that we get to do today, because we can and because we have each other in these moments.
Even before the diagnosis, but especially since, I’m becoming more and more purposeful on how I spend my time. By myself, with my kids and with my family. Making time has never been more important and I’m very aware of how things can change not just because of Rett Syndrome, but also because that’s what life is about. Change. Surprises. And you can either roll with it, or not move forward at all.
we live in a world where it’s so easy to get lost online. where you can search for hours and still not be done. where you can be the person you always wanted, but never dared to try in the offline world. online there’s space for mistakes you can save over and there’s time to hover over that ‘submit’ button.
disconnect to connect is how i’ve been feeling about life and living, lately. while there is so much i love about the internet, it’s not life. it’s not my children, or the chill in the air. it’s not a walk in the park or the delicious smell of a cake baking in the oven. it’s not an hour to myself, relaxing.
i’ve spent the last decade and more looking for myself online, developing ideas out of interests – but who i really am (and who you really are too) lives offline and i want to spend time getting to know myself again. isn’t is strange to struggle for an answer when you’re asked what do you want to do? i feel like my answers are a combination of other people’s achievements, which is fine because goals are good, but is that really how i feel? is that really who i want to be? or have i read so many blogs that i’ve lost my own personality and set of goals along the way?
i’ve been stripping back slowly things that i don’t want to do anymore and have been slowly adding back things that i love to do. using each week as a milestone for clarity in my life, making sure that i’m spending time wisely and purposefully and hoping that i can/am living my life more authentically each day.
do you ever feel that way about being online and then going offline for a while?
do you actively and specifically disconnect from your online life?
