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Sep
20
2011

After Life


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During all the craziness of the Autism diagnosis for Jovie, my parents brought up something that I never deemed important in my ‘younger’ years.

Our Last Will and Testament.

Gosh, how grown up and .. well scary. But it goes hand in hand with all this decision making we’re doing lately, that I’ve got it on our list of things ‘to complete’ by the end of the year at the latest.

Regan and I have talked about a few of the bigger things – like who gets the kids and that is a huge thing to decide. Material things I don’t really care about and that’s really helped in my quest to live a more simple life. (Also known as ‘See Tracey put things back on the shelf and talk herself out of buying yet another thing she doesn’t need…’).

I’ve only really seen people reading from Will’s in movies or on tv – I wonder if I should put in something kooky like ‘Hayley (my sister) gets my bank account balance but only if she stays in a haunted house overnight’ … she would NEVER and that would make my ghostly self laugh and laugh…

But I’m really curious about sorting out a Will, I think it will make me feel a bit in control, you know?

Another issue we talked about is organ donation – it’s important to tell your close family what your wishes are because when the time comes, they will be asked to confirm your wishes.

I had always thought, when I was younger, that my parents didn’t believe in organ donation, that you had to be buried whole. Even my sister said that’s what she was told – but after having a discussion with them, they were all for organ donation. (I had already made my mind up to be a organ donor anyway).

So even if it’s a bit weird or strange, pipe up and say how you feel to your loved ones, as it can make a huge difference in another person’s life. One donor can save the lives of up to 10 people & improve the lives of dozens more. Transplant lists can vary anywhere from 6 months to 4 years – and that can be too late for many people. There’s a great website at donatelife.gov.au if you want to learn more about organ donation in Australia.

For the record, I am putting it out there to you internet world, take my eyes, take my lungs and you can even take my butt – it’s had a great run and there’s ample of it to share.

xx

Sep
16
2011

the luck of the … Australian Born Chinese?


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My mother was over at our house this morning to drop Jasper over at day care while I head the other way and go with Jovie to Gymbaroo.

‘I forgot to tell you we won lotto!’ she says. ‘$14.70!’

How cool, I think to myself as I finish putting shoes on Jo.

She continues … ‘It was on that lottery ticket you bought Dad last week. Do you realise the last 4 tickets you’ve bought all have won something?’

She’s right – my lottery ticket won $12.70, Dad’s won the $14.70, and the 2 father’s day scratchies I bought both won $15 each. It’s not the jackpot, but it is something and we made our money back on them all plus a little change. The last time I won on lotto was … oh NEVER.

As she heads out the door with Jasper, my mother turns to me and says ‘hey if you happen to be near the same newsagent again today, could you pick me up the exact same lottery ticket? you’ve got the luck on your side!’

I smile, it must be luck or fate or some sort of funny way Buddha is shining a light down on me. Luck is such a funny gift.

I did go buy that lottery ticket for her, you know, just to see… lol. But I never feel ‘lucky’, I believe whatever you get, you earn because you put in the hard work. The lottery however, well you gotta be in it to win it!

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Sep
15
2011

R U OK?

R U OK?Day 2011 is on 15th September, today. On this day they want everyone across the country from all backgrounds and all walks of life to ask friends, families and colleagues: “Are you OK?”.

There has been 2 important times in my life when I needed to hear that from someone…

R U OK?

You might not know about this about me, actually I bet you don’t as I’ve never spoken it about it. When I was a kid, growing up in the suburbs, not a care in the world and as innocent as they come – I was repeatedly and regularly sexually assaulted by a neighbour. A trusted neighbour. Someone we saw every day.

Back then, I didn’t realise what was happening was not right, or I would of certainly said something. So it stayed a secret for years until high school, and unfortunately during a Health class. I can’t remember the topic that set me off, but during that class the memories of my childhood were triggered and I flipped the poop out, internally. I didn’t want to believe it, but it couldn’t be ignored and it really blew my mind that I had experienced something so nasty, so young and so alone.

I began to withdraw from school, friends and probably reality itself. I began cutting myself, not in a suicidal way, but I guess it was a release? Whatever I was doing, it wasn’t good and thankfully I had amazing friends, who went above and beyond to ask me R U OK? when they saw the scars and poor bandage job on my wrists.

Without that R U OK?, you wouldn’t be reading a blog about a well adjusted (I like to think!) mum of two.

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R U OK?

The most recent time I needed to be asked R U OK? has been in the last week. Jovie’s autism diagnosis has both been a relief and a stressful time. My friends again have been the ones hanging on to me, asking whether we need anything and just sitting with us to listen and to talk it out.

They’ve met me at parks, brought over a frozen coke, sent me emails and left me amazing voicemails. My friends are reminders that my worries are their worries – that I am not alone in the fight.

Without this R U OK?, I don’t think I would be as clear as I am today about the whole diagnosis.

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You don’t need 650 friends on Facebook or Twitter. You don’t need the world’s most popular blog with readers from all over the world. You just need that 1 good friend that will give you some time out of their day to listen to you.

I am here if you need an ear, to vent or to talk something through.

My email is tracey@sh1ft.org – you can email me or use the form here – and I’m asking YOU right now – R U OK? This is open past today, whenever you want to email me, just do it.